Stupid Sparkling Vampires
by AngieXRosyX
Summary: Alucard goes on a killing spree when he finds out that there are vampires that sparkle!
1. Chapter 1

**Angie: I spent ALL day writing this story!! **

**Rosy: I typed it! XP Im specialer then her. **

**Angie: You wish**

**Rosy: Mean!!!  
**

**Angie: YUP!!**

**Rosy: ok here we go!!! OH YA!!! we dont own anything.**

Alucard was exploring the world and one day he happened to find a small town called forks.

As he stalked into town, he sniffed the air. He whistled when he found no scent of vampires. Was this even the town? The sign said La Push.... No it was more of the village. 'Ah well' he thought.

Alucard began to walk on the beach. Some kids were taller than others. One man was in a wheelchair. Alucard felt a tugging on his jacket. He looked down at a little girl smiling at him. "Hi big scawwy wooking guy." (dont look at me this was purely angies idea.) she said. He smirked his eyes glinting at the five year old child. "Claire! Don't do that!" yelled a taller boy who was running to the child. He had short black hair and was tall. "Sorry sir. She likes to run off when im not looking." Alucard's smirk widened.

"That's fine kid. I quite enjoyed her company," Alucard said. The boy smiled and picked up the small girl. "I'm Quil. This is Claire." "Alucard its a pleasure to meet you." Alucard bowed. "Your pretty tall. No offense but you also have a odd name." Claire reached out to the tall man in the red cloak. Alucard questioned Quil with his eyes. "She wants you to hold her." Alucard smirk somehow grew wider. He took the child that Quil handed to him. After 30 seconds he put her down not wanting to hold the struggling child. Quil watched him warily.

Alucard smiled at the boy in front of him. "This may sound a bit odd but I'm looking for any disturbances." Quil looked confused.

"Has anything unnatural happened around here?" Quil looked thoughtful. "Follow me." Alucard smirked as he watched Quil run into the trees. Alucard faded and appeared behind Quil. "Why are we out here?" Alucard asked making the boy jump. "Whoa.....uh.....Stay here." Alucard frowned. "Don't be to long im not one for waiting." Quil disappeared into the brush.

Sometime after Alucard heard a howl. Smirking he walked calmly to where the source was. He saw a grey wolf. Not just any wolf, but it was at least the size of a horse. Alucard wasn't really impressed. This grey wolf was howling. He walked up to the and studied him.

"Your not very impressive, Quil." Quil jumped again and starred at Alucard very shocked.

'How does he keep...'

"Sneaking up on you?" Alucard guessed. Quil's wolfish face looked surprised.

Suddenly, very low snarls, not just one but six, erupted around the smirking man.

"Oh Hello. I was wondering when you'd make yourselves known."

A very big black wolf stepped forward. He was baring his fangs at Alucard. The man laughed loudly.

"How wonderful!" Alucard clapped as he tipped his hat towards the wolves. The smallest wolf's fur was like sand. The biggest had russet fur. "You want to know what I want. That answer is simple. I'm looking for vampires." The rumble probably symbolized laughing.

"You know. Fangs, moves fast, drinks blood, red eyes, lived for years."

'The vampires here don't drink human blood. They also don't have fangs,' Thought the black one.  
Alucard's smirk dropped as he was told this. "A vampire without fangs... is a disgrace to all vampires. A vampire who does not drink human blood is a traitor. They must be dealt with." Alucard's hat disappeared along with his glasses and cloak. His clothes changed to black leather. The wolves starred at the red eyed man who was smiling wickedly. His fangs protruding from his pale lips and shown brightly. He pulled out two pistols. Not ordinary ones, but seriously long ones that no human should or could possess.

'What are you?' Asked the female. Everyone heard the question. "A true... vampire." Alucard disappeared into thin air.

* * *

Forks

Alucard was wearing his hat. No cloak or sunglasses. Just his hat and leather suit. He was looking for the presence of the vampires. This one girl with brown hair and brown eyes ran into him.

"Oh sorry," she said. Alucard nodded and looked at the pale boy beside her. He could smell the animal blood that seemed to radiate off the boy in waves. "You need to shower boy." The bronze haired boy looked puzzled. "Why?" he asked. He seemed way too graceful.

"Because you reek to high heaven," Alucard retorted smiling. The boy's eyes widened. The girl starred between the two. It was odd that he said Edward smelled bad.

"You're a disgrace, aren't you? Please take me to the rest of you." Alucard's voice was demanding. The boy was still puzzled.

"Disgrace? Of what, may I ask, am I a disgrace of?"

"Simple. Vampires." It was quiet other then the people around them. Edward shook his head. Alucard smirked. He then proceeded to look for the people Edward had pictured in his mind.

* * *

First he went after the shorter blonde male. Alucard found him somewhere in the forest.

"Oh hello. I do believe you know the way out of this wretched forest, correct?" Alucard asked smiling. The blonde looked at him and nodded.

"Over that way." The blonde pointed to the East.

"Thank you, but I didn't need to know that." Alucard then pulled out his gun and shot Jasper between the eyes.

* * *

Next was the small girl, Alice. She must have seen it coming and met Alucard outside the house.

"You killed him," she cried. Alucard smiled.

"Of course I did. I will kill you all for being a disgrace to the title Vampire."

Alice couldn't respond. He had shot her twice. One in the forehead and the other in the heart.

* * *

He stalked to a field and saw two of the miserable beings. One was a beautiful blonde female and the other was a strong male. They noticed Alucard walking towards them.

"Oh... um... Hi," said the male. The female was set back down and Alucard's smirk grew bigger.

"May I test your strength?" he asked the male.

"Sure but you won't win though." Alucard's smirk grew even wider if sat into an arm wrestling position and then started. Emmet was straining while Alucard looked bored. That is... until Alucard ripped Emmett's arm clean off. The blood poured from his body as he screamed in agony. Alucard lifted the arm above his head and let the blood drip into his open mouth.

"Yum... Not as good as a human's blood but still good." Rosalie was horrified as she watched her husband get torn apart and bleed to death. Rosalie screamed but her head was ripped off from just trying to get away.

* * *

Carlisle and Esme were next. They were easy to find and track down. Alucard was curious about these vampires. They had no fangs. They fed from animals. They were abominations. Alucard could smell the blood of a half-human in the house as well. Alucard went after the "vampires" first. Alucard walked in and starred back at the two adults.

"May I look at your fangs?" Alucard asked.

"We do not know what you are talking about."

"I know you're a "vampire"," Alucard said. You could hear the quotation marks in his voice. Carlisle carefully studied the smiling man.

"We do not have fangs." Alucard smirked wider.

"I do." Alucard smiled to where his teeth showed. His long fangs poked at his bottom lip. He faded and appeared behind Carlisle and sunk his teeth into his pale neck. The blood spilled over the doctor's shoulder. Esme gasped as Carlisle fell to the floor, dead. Esme attempted to escape but Alucard enclosed her in darkness. He ripped her in half and watched the blood flow around her.

* * *

Alucard made his way towards the child that was somewhere in the house.

"Huh. You are only half pathetic."

"Pathetic? Since when is a vampire pathetic?"

"You are no vampire. But I can make you one." Alucard picked up the girl and bit her neck! He left the child wallowing with his venom running through her veins.

* * *

Alucard was approached by both Edward and Bella running at him. They were obviously enraged.

"You bastard! What did you do to my family?!"

"Destroyed their existences'."

"Why?!" Edward asked.

"Because you are all disgraceful vampires." Edward moved and attacked from behind. Alucard grabbed Edward's face and forced his head into the ground. He proceeded to rip the skin off of his face. The blood poured from the muscle. Edward screamed in pain. It wasn't a pained yelp but an anguished scream. Bella moved to attack as well, ut Alucard shot her knees. She exploded into flames and screamed.

Edward's blood pooled near him and Alucard laughed and placed the gun at Edward's forehead. When he pulled the trigger however it clicked.

"Oops. Forgot to reload." Alucard smirked and reloaded the giant pistol. He cocked the gun with his teeth. He then emptied the clip into Edward's body and head.

* * *

Alucard walked off with his new fledgling towards the airport so they could go to England. Or Alucard would rather: return to his coffin.


	2. Note to Useless nobody UK

**Angie: This is not another chapter… this is a Note to an anonymous reviewer with a flame. **

**Rosy: first of all we just wanna say we have NOTHING against Renesmee and that is why we didn't think it was right to kill her since she didn't have a chance yet to live.**

**Angie: Second of all, Alucard didn't kill Seras Victoria. Why does he have to kill Renesmee?**

**Rosy: we know all about Vlad the Impaler we know his history. Sooo don't tell us anymore k?**

**Angie: I didn't put a lot of description because it was a last minute thing and we were bored. Plus I had to write it out first then Rosy typed a third of it and I had to type the rest because she had to leave. **

**Rosy: I don't live with angie and so she did not want to right the whole thing which was like 30 pages long. So we discussed it over the phone and came up with the end results u read.**

**Angie: We prefer to write stuff that we like and it just so happens that what we write is supposed to be to our taste cause then we just get bored writing for our readers and when we write stuff we like others seem to like it too. **

**Rosy: me and Ange have sooo much fun writing our stories. If we get flames it only ruins our fun and we don't wanna write anymore. **

**Angie: Its good that you gave us a heads up about what to do and make it more descriptive., but we liked it how it is so we have no motivation to write more to the story. If I make it anymore descriptive than it will be very painful and boring to read.**

**Rosy: personally me and ange are kinda uh… different? Death is our favorite pastime. We find it very….amusing. If angie got more descriptive I think we would have problems. LOTS of problems. Like nightmares and stuff.**

**Angie: SHUT UP YOU PUMPKIN!**

**Rosy: I swear to god if you talk while im trying to talk ill carve your eyes out! With a SPOON!**

**Angie: I can talk in text! "I'M TALKING WHILE YOU TALK IN TEXT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Angie laughs evilly as she runs around in circles.**

**Rosy: *trips Angie and jumps on her back while beating her with a foam bat* DIE DIE DIE DIE! MWA HAHA HAAAAHAA**

**Angie: Ow… Ow… Ow… *grabs rosy's butt* Hehehehehehehehe**

**Rosy: AHH! You baka no hentai!**

**Angie: You baka no teme~!**

**Rosy: *licks angies face* ~lick~ yum you taste like dirty socks when was the last time you showered. *wipes tongue on skirt***

**Angie: EWWW! I took a shower three hours ago! *Grabs rosy's boob* HAHA**

**Rosy: ANGIE! *smacks* why you do dat you mean face.**

**Angie: Cause I can. Cause you my cousin! *Pushes rosy off* This note was made to notify useless nobody UK () but we didn't make it to anger her/him. If we did, I am SORRY! Cause I know rosy isn't.**

**Rosy: no im not I hate flamers. *pouts* they smell bad.**

**Angie: Well Bie bie bie bie bye!**

**Rosy: BUH-BYE-BYE!**


	3. Another Note to Useless Nobody UK

**Angie: Well since Rosy isn't with me right now I'd like to apologize for replying to late to you. I agree that Alucard would waste no time in killing Renesmee. Rosy just didn't want me to kill a child. Mostly because she finds babies like Nessie adorable. I killed her off in the rough draft, but she got angry with me so I changed it. **

**Alucard isn't the type to be merciful. Especially, when it comes to something he dislikes. I agree that he also might just think that vamps that drink animal blood are lowering themselves to the animal itself. As much as I hate twilight, I think he would be more than intrigued with Jacob and his pack. If you think about it, he himself is a shapeshifter, but in a way better way. **

**(I think he'd be interested because they are able to shift into that of a wolf. (Even though they can't turn into anything else.)) **

**I don't like nightmares. I don't want others to imagine that scary crap, so I cut it short. Now I know it's a little too short, but its better than nothing. Mostly because I really didn't feel like making it too long so I seriously shortened most of them. **

**(Plus I really Hate Edward and Bella with a passion so I just wanted to get to killing them first.) **

**Hehe we're flaming each other. ^_^ Now we must be HOT! Like fire HOT! I really enjoy exchanging opinions with you. If Rosy were here, she'd be telling me what to say to you, but I have no intention of being mean. **

**I really like that you put what you think would make the story better. It gives me Goosebumps. Anyway, I want to thank you for all your support. You've really helped me improve my stories.**


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